My boyfriend asked me, “What do you still need to do? Have you posted your Valentine’s day promo?”

“No!” I lamented. “I have people that want to come in for Valentine pictures too. I need to post my February specials.”

He was trying to help. “You need to prioritize your responsibilities.”

I couldn’t argue because he is right.

1) The toilets don’t need to be scrubbed… ever. That includes the floors and to hell with clean clothes. My family can stay naked.

2) One meal a day equals less dishes and less time needed to grocery shop. Food is pooped out anyway. Why make it a priority?

3) Pooping takes time. I should probably push that down the list of “need to do.”
Though there are those times you just need to go and I suppose then I’ll pause just to avoid getting messy.

4) Speaking of stench. I don’t think I really need to worry about showering and if I let my teeth rot out of my face I will no longer need to take time for the dentist. Why should I want to when the result is pain. A broach in productivity is a needle in my mouth.

5) Sex. That’s another thing I shouldn’t need worry about. It’s not like I’m of breeding age anyway, besides I’d need to shower after. Or.. I could keep the sex and skip the shower. How long do you think I could get away that hair gel? There is something about Mary…

6) Mary… Do I have any friends named Mary? Maybe I know a Jane, not that it matters as I’ve decided that friends and relationships must be draining my ability to produce. “Do I want to go have coffee?” Can’t I just wave at you through the drive through and read your Facebook status later? I’m told to focus on what’s important.

(Yes! My friends are important to me.)

7) What’s important? Feeding the fish is NOT important! Fish are creatures you eat. They are not meant to be home decor. Who bought the damn fish in the first place and the tank! Let it be green because cleaning it is not ever my priority.

8) Church. Dear God thank you for allowing me to let go of the idea that I have time to sit in sanctity. I’m glad you can hear me anywhere, because I’ll confess that I’ve never attended a single sermon ever where I wasn’t wishing to be doing something on my list. I’m glad that we are in this together God, because I don’t always think the world gets me.

9) Being “Done” is clearly not a priority. There is always some task of great urgency and please do understand that I feel it pressing. It tightens like a noose until I’m standing on my tip toes on a three legged chair trying to will myself to balance on one corner so I don’t strangle.

10) Facebook status updates will be the big 10 I will finish with, because no one really needs a play by play snap shot of my life. This mornings post was ten minutes I could have been using for something else besides pooping and I never admitted that I was. I only meant to share with you my amusement because the obstacles that were before, are here before, and what else can be made but the best of it?

My priority is to make the best of each day by love. All else is negotiable.