It’s almost Valentine’s day. Last year my boyfriend gave me a card that said something to the effect of, “You are really special to me. I’m glad you are in my life.”

There was no “I love you.”

It was too soon for “I love you” if emotions have a timeline. I will tell you that I wanted him to love me instantly and obviously. I expected him to know, especially after the span of months, that I am the woman of his dreams. I expected him to love me. It would be impossible not to. I feel that way about myself. I should be easy to love.

Is love ever easy?

If your answer to that question is “No” well, you shouldn’t be surprised when I tell you that my boyfriend put me out on my ass to think about things more than a few times. He agree with me, “You are a catch Amber. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met.”

Thank you! Now give me my “I love you.”

We said good-bye to each other instead, maybe a month or so after I got the card from him that was not good enough. He couldn’t give me what I needed. I didn’t want to be “special”. I wanted to be the love of his life. I guess I should not have been shocked when he dumped me. It was as if he was saying, “Who do you think you are?”

I’m Princess Amber Dammit!

I felt like I was trying to make it through a kingdom of broken glass slippers while walking on bare feet. The months without him were excruciating.

Of course he came back. It was as I knew all along. I am impossible not to love and that is what he said to me after I quit slamming the door in his face and telling him to go away. “I wanted to let you go. I tried to let you go. Look, I don’t know if you are the right person for me because I’ve never met anyone like you before Amber. I don’t honestly know what to make of you. I do know that I can’t let you go. I don’t want to. I don’t want to let you go.”

“So don’t”, I said moving closer.

This morning I pulled him close to say good-bye again. This time it would be only for a few hours and that is how it’s been since last April. We got back together last spring and most of our time is that same “together.” We only spend hours apart, and I am a brat about them too. I look forward to seeing him, the hours in his company are a spoil of treasure. I’m greedy and he is generous.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me,” I said before sending him off to work.

He smiled, “Of course… that’s what princes do.”

feeling loved at A Smile Like Yours Photography.


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