My boyfriend is reading over my shoulder as I type this remembering. He is charming and gentle, reminding me, “Amber, You can’t be scowling as you write about HAPPY.”
I looked up at him to grin sheepishly, “You are right my love. I was just remembering how small she felt curled next to me. She was worried. I was reliving that time with her in the dark.”
“Your daughter?” he asked, kissing my forehead and then the button of my nose.
“Yes, I am writing about Sapphire.”
My daughter lives in the pages of books and the ones she chooses are about the greatest loss, the deepest despair. They are also books about great love. “Looking For Alaska” is a favorite she has asked me not to read because she is possessive of her identity and private. My daughter is a forest and she prefers the rain. I named her Sapphire, Sapphire Rain. She says she wants to be public, but rarely is. Most days she is reading or studying: filling her brain until there is no room to live. She is meticulous in her study, wanting to absorb and retain like it will matter someday. She is livid when I can’t help her with her studies because I no longer remember.
“Sapphire, I only held on to the information that is applicable to my life. I let all the bullsh*t go. Information that has no function does not need to be kept. It can be revisited.”
She thinks I don’t value her education. How can she possibly know that I am concerned with the focus of what is being taught. I think we waste our resources, but then what I do know about conservation.
I know I want to go to Harvard and I do not want to do so in debt. I will be accepted. I know it just as I know that I will succeed in everything I do. I will especially succeed at failure and I will be happy through it. I am happy because I know my path and it one I can share to inspire a national movement toward WELLNESS as America’s #1 industry. Educators of this product will make the most, as in teachers. I believe teachers should make more than surgeons. Surgeons, you should know, are the highest paid earners in our nation. Why should cutting a person be more valuable than molding one? The human battle is mental. That is why we are the most evolved species. I think our teachers should make the most money, after we revise the formula of how and when we teach.
We need to get ahead of the curve. We are failing and it does not have anything to do with “common core” concepts. If you are not familiar with the reference, please Google it. I sat through a most inspiring lecture at my daughter’s school at the beginning of the year, and it did make me feel like I have somehow been left out of the loop of some brilliance I haven’t already been researching. I spend each and every day looking, admiring our innovation, while insisting that I contribute by my own creation.
What am I the best at?
I am the best at making people smile.
Creating smiles is my calling.
How do I create a company about HAPPY?
I want to market that product.
I can’t sell happiness.
It is a FREEDOM.
Our American freedom.
The pursuit of happiness is our American dream.
Who is teaching that?