I was happy the day my husband asked me for a divorce. I was happy in every aspect of my life except for the fact that he was not happy with me. I remember asking myself if he had good reason to not want to stay with me. I knew in my heart that he had every reason to go. In fact, I felt he should. I felt they both should. My daughter should go too.
I’m sitting here, in the midst of writing, wondering if I should take my words back because what if she see’s them and mistakenly thinks I am saying I do not want her. What if my daughter reads this and thinks I do not love her?
I hope she reads these words someday and if it is a day that is too soon I hope the world will sit her down and tell her straight, “Your mom loves you more than Christmas kiddo, and twice as much as Halloween.”
I would tell her myself that I am sorry, if she could listen with a mind that is developed enough to understand that we hurt to grow. I am growing so I hurt her like a bone snapped back into place. I wasn’t expecting the break either.
People break. I think that people forget that, and I also think people expect it too much. Healthcare for example. We are now required by law to have health insurance because as I just said, “people break.”
People LIVE too. Shouldn’t we then be required to have life insurance? At least that leads to the rewards of the inevitable. We get paid to die so that our children have a better shot at life. We are all heading to death, but can’t we be well why we are here? If we are going to die in the end can we at least be well?
Why do we need health insurance?
If we are the greatest country in the world, out to save the world from famine, feast, and hunger, WHY, are we so sick?
How can we be so daft as to think there is assurance for anything. At least I understand the self-preservation of formaldehyde.
What if we could be WELL instead of sick? Would you pay for that insurance or require it by national mandate and law?
“WE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HERE BY DO DECLARE THAT YOU MUST ALL PURCHASE WELLNESS INSURANCE.”
What if wellness was no longer a choice? What if it became our American standard?
I can’t tell you how to prepare for a divorce. Mine happened quickly. We were together for the span of seventeen years and what I can tell you now after the end and years past, it really was in part to not being able to communicate that identity can change in a life-time. We did not grow apart at all. It happened in a snap. I closed my eyes one night and woke up an entirely different person.