I scroll through my Facebook feed. The first headline says, “A CEO shares the 3-hour morning routine that sets him up for success.”
Of course I click on the link to the article. It’s about some dude named Gary Vaynerchuk. I decide immediately that if he was single I wouldn’t date him. He’s not single though. I’m not single either, so I guess it doesn’t really matter. For the record, I wouldn’t date Gary Vaynerchuk if I were single.
Gary is a predictable bore. According to the article he wakes up at 6 a.m.
“Literally. Every day. For me, every minute counts, so my schedule is planned down to the second.”
He plans his schedule down to the second? I wonder how much time he blocks out for sex? Does he count his big finish as a second block of time and what the hell happens if he is off by a couple of seconds?
Gary writes, “The first thing I do when I wake up is grab my cellphone and take it to the bathroom with me, where I start my day by consuming quite a lot of information.”
Let me see if I have this right. If I want to live my life like a successful CEO I should wake up each morning to sit with my phone on the toilet. I should NOT be Googling porn on my phone. I should be Googling Jason Hirschhorn (Who the f*ck is that?!)
I should also hug my kids. Gary suggest five minutes for that. Says he, “After the workout, I head back home to say bye to my kids before they go to school. I hug them for five minutes, give them a kiss and they’re off.”