My mid life crisis began four years ago. I was successful on so many levels, but I was not fulfilled. I was happy without being content. My life was calm and stable, but there was no peace. My turmoil was inward.

I need people to know that I did not intend to cause damage and chaos when I began my journey. I honestly thought that most people would be loving and accepting of my quest. I thought at the very least they would understand. Unfortunately there were very few people that did.

“I still don’t understand the rubber chicken??”

Sardonic. The popular reaction to my rubber chicken is sardonic. My position then became contemptuous. I object to the disdainful rejection I have faced, most especially because most if it is not thought based. The majority of the rejection has been reactionary and impulsive judgement. This I understand. Critical thinking is imperative for human evolution. We judge because we need to.

People have always been my favorite muse. I make my living as people photographer. Before I chose that I was a student of psychology. I am still a student of psychology. I did not make mental health my profession because I knew that most people wait too long before they try to get better. I know that most of us will allow every part of us to be broken by life as we “Do what needs to be done because life is what it is.”

We are our own self destruction. A career in mental health would have provided me with job security and a chance to make some change, but the reality is that I would have spent my life trying to stop people from blowing themselves up.

Now I turn on the news to see that the epidemic is spreading by means of a plague called ISIS and COLUMBINE. While I am watching the news I learn the ice caps in my state are melting at rate of THREE FEET PER DAY. Just yesterday a climber was killed by ice as Mt. Rainier collapses from global warming. The end of the world is happening FAST. George Carlin was wrong. What is happening now is not natural. Global warming is a man made epidemic. People are so sick we do not need to blow ourselves up. We are collectively contributing to the mass destruction of US. ALL OF US.

If you are not familiar with George Carlin he is a famous comedian. I should have chosen comedy as a career, except who the hell is going to be left to laugh when this sh*t goes down and it is. Fears are often poised as irrational things to overcome. My fear is profound because it is factual and can not be undone. I fear I will not get through to the world before the world is ruined. I fear I will die before the ultimate disaster and that I will not at least be here to help my daughter through the worst until all endings bring peace. The world will heal if we are gone. Life will grow over our damage until better life takes over. Life that is not greedy. Life that understands connection. The world is alive to host us. We are parasites, which is not a defamation. I only mean to say that if we consume too much the host will die. The world was always meant to serve our needs. How are we serving the world?

I have not always been the person I am today. I have evolved to carry a rubber chicken and my ultimate goal is to become president of the United States of America. I made the assertion publicly last year after I realized that systematic change is not possible unless you become the system. I decided that leading is my only choice.

I began my campaign right away. I wrapped a SEAHAWKS scarf around my neck, put my Superman ball cap on, grabbed my rubber chicken and I went knocking on doors.

“Hi, my name is Amber Garibay. I intend to become the president of the United States. Can I count on your vote?”

Most people gave me a generic, “Yes, of course I would vote for you.” The remaining people were more truthful. One person said, “You have a better chance of being a porn star than president. Maybe you should try that instead.” Yet another truth came by defeat, “Why in the world would you want that job. Being president would be miserable. Think of all the corruption and red tape. The president does not really have power. He is just a paid bobble-head.”

I agree. I should NOT run for president. I should leave that destruction for people like Donald Trump. People who have ego and money, but a mindset that is closed to what love really is. Love is the unselfish connection we have to the better good of mankind. I should not waste my time worrying about needing a popular vote and elected choice. I should not want to sit with the leader of NATO so that I can understand why so many hands are tied. I should not want to help the people of Greece, the people of Israel, the people of Mexico, or the people here. I should focus on helping myself instead. The world is too big to hold alone. The change I seek will never come.

Except, I do want to be president. I am 100% committed to my core values and I believe I have the right to work for the things that I want and love. As an American I have the right to my pursuit of happiness. My pursuit includes zany things like believing that ordinary people are capable of extraordinary things. If Donald Trump is a consideration, I should be too.

Donald Trump will lose the election. He is short sided. He does not understand that the world allows us the power we have, SUPER POWER, because Americans have always fought for the love of other people. We open our boundaries when other countries do not have enough. Our immigration issues are organizational issues. We are not united enough to use our strengths to allow more people help. I know how to change that.

I promised myself that I would change the world with my rubber chicken. Most days I know it to be possible and when I loose faith I remember that rubber chickens are not for serious business. Rubber chickens are made for laughter and smiles. I may not be president, but I most certainly will win. The smile on my face is proof that I am. I am winning through a comedy of error.