He is so kind it is sometimes confusing. He takes care of me in the most gentle and nurturing way. He makes me meals when I’m working so hard I forget to eat. He checks up on me always and he compliments me everyday. “You are beautiful. You are amazing. I am glad you are in my life.”

Then he says, “Take your time leaving.”

He loves me by action when all else has fallen and he holds my hand while I cry. “I love you so much.” I cried harder as he said, “I know.” Then he held me as I choked on my own snot.

He asked me how I could still love him after all the hurt he’s caused and it was easy to tell him how and why. I truly love him beyond any condition.

I told him I struggle with the emotional reaction which is physical, but the mentally I can see myself happy with someone else.

I am happy here in this life with him. I am not ready to leave the kindness he feeds me so I can grow. He told me I don’t need to until I’m ready. He promised that he will be here to guide me by light and goodness. Of course those are not his words, but that is my experience. He pays me so many favors I should be smiling instead of crying my eyes out.

“I know you will be dating other people,” he said as he opened up about his hopes for me. “Take your time Amber. Your business is on fire. You are accomplishing everything I knew you would. Don’t get off track. Chase what you love most. You will win.”

He is proof that I have. My time with him is a prize I cherish. We have had the greatest love. What’s coming next must be sensational. UP is the way that I’m going. I’m glad and grateful that he is still here to help me fly.

‪#‎myangel‬‪#‎heavenistoofar‬ ‪#‎chooseyou‬ ‪#‎imgoingtofuckingmissyou‬

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