live happy

I asked God for answers, of course you know I did. I asked him why he did not allow me the simplest gift. “Dear God, my heart is simple. I am most humble. Please God, please let me have my one person,my true person, the person who is meant to be mine love.”

It’s like I’m promising to settle down, like I need to. My prayers often feel like a negotiation. “Dear God. I promise I will stop being obsessed with business if you will send me that prince you promised, you know the one I am talking about, the prince with the giant kingdom and eyes for me and me alone.

I would like to be a powerful princess, not a magical one. Except I think that magic would make me powerful if magical can be real. Magic can be real, Houdini already proved that illusion so I suppose that everything is possible, even true love.

I believe in true love the same way I believe in God. I know the power of both like I know I need to drink water and I must breathe air. I do not question the need for either force. I question the force of the direction in which I am moved.

Am I on the right path? Am I staying true to my own good heart?

Living life with a conviction to spirituality is not necessarily a pleasurable experience. I most often suffer as I scrutinize my own character and then the selfishness of action. I would love to be selfless, to be giving, completely free of want. I am not selfless though. I want and I need. I want and need things for myself. ‪#‎true‬ ‪#‎life‬ I am at least accountable to the truth and all the sides of it.

It’s been nearly two months since my break-up. My heart is not broken though. If you are new to reading my posts, my boyfriend of two years is now my roommate. It has been heavily suggested that I move out immediately to get on and back to life that will be better now that…

My life is exactly perfect NOW. There is no break. I am not broken. I have never been broken. This is just life and then more life.

So what of love?

I love to learn more than anything. I am thankful that today holds that promise and tomorrow will as well. I am thankful that pain tells me I am still here to feel. I am thankful that through life I can have many futures. I am grateful that hearts don’t really break and love wins. ‪#‎lovewinsalways‬.

— at A Smile Like Yours Photography.

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