I did not get fat gorging on food. I became obese because I like candy, and pizza, and wine. This year I gained thirty pounds and I have not been eating a whole bunch. Yesterday I ate twice. I had a protein shake after my workout and a slice of pizza. I did finish off the rest of the jalapeno Cheetos…

Food choice is everything and I say that after watching a video this morning that included people who are starving to death. I thought about what an A-hole I must sound like obsessing about weight and calories.

My American Facebook status: “I lost five pounds!!”
A Facebook status update from Syria: “I have not eaten in 10 days. I’m sucking on a bag of salt to keep by vitals going.”

The irony is that neither of us are getting the nutrients we need. If I keep choosing to eat candy as a meal and I reach for coffee or wine instead of water, well. I will keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger until my health fails me and I die. I will starve as I expand into blubber. People who eat real food, whole food, clean food… I do not know any of those people to be obese and they most certainly are not starving.

Sugar is a real problem for me and NO, I am not willing to cut it out of my diet. I’ve come to know my body really well through my own journey to health and it does not like severe conditions. NO is a severe condition. I do not like being denied and I despise being told “NO”, especially when I want the answer to be “YES”.

“Yes… I do want to eat that cake and that cheeseburger and…”

It is a blessing to be able to choose your meal based on a craving. What flavor do I want to taste today? It was a more fortunate favor to realize that I’ve already tasted enough flavor to remember that FOOD is meant to be FUEL. It is a formula to maximize efficiency, much like choosing the right gas for your car.

I have lived a lifetime of bad habits but there have also been good ones. There came a time along my journey that I realized that much of my life condition is the result of programmed habits. Those things that are familiar, comforting, and easy. Some experts insist that humans must face their own rock bottom before reaching to change. I can’t say that I disagree. My worst has always been inward. Mine is a journey of introspection. My life changes focus when I am honest, when I admit my own failings and make changes accordingly.

What do I want and for what reason? I want my body to by firm like Jennifer Anniston’s and I want my legs to look silky in a pencil skirt. I want to preserve my youth and vitality so that I may feel forever young and beautiful. I would love to feel beautiful in my own skin and I often do.
There is a lot of hype about fat shaming and a whole lot of love for all body shapes and sizes. There are even people who promote fat is beautiful fitness groups. Being fat doesn’t necessarily mean you are unhealthy or not fit. Some people even prefer to live life that way. Life on candy and pizza and wine…

I love candy. I love it so much I used to pick my mom’s lock to steal her pocket change. I rode my bike the mile it took to get to the little store and I brought my candy hoard back to share with my little brother. Life is yummy.

Now I am a mom and I cringe to see my daughter sucking down soda. Who buys it? Her dad…. me sometimes…. I like soda too on occasion…. I like to pour it one my ice-cream.

Dammit. Wouldn’t I be amazing if I could just make the right choices!? I know what to do and so…

What will I choose today?


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