We went to see a movie last night. I smiled at my guy before we left, “We are going on a date!” I felt light, pretty, and young. I twirled in front of him, jumping and prancing. Life was beautiful in that moment.

I cried the whole way home. The movie was too much for me and then life began to feel the same way.

Savage. Primal. Severe. Cold.


The movie I went to see is called The Revenant, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. He gave an exemplary performance in the telling of the remarkable true story of mountain man Hugh Glass. I think it was the first time I saw DiCaprio on screen without reminiscing about him as a young actor on the Titanic.

He’s become quite the man. You know that I am a mother because the emotion that I felt seeing him grown was pride. I watched him on the movie screen and I was proud of the man he’s become.

Of DiCaprio:He ate a raw bison liver

DiCaprio is reportedly a vegetarian, so when his character bites into a raw bison liver, you would think the actor would go with what the prop department gives him — some jellylike replica of an organ. But DiCaprio didn’t think it looked authentic enough, so he decided to go with the real thing.

“The bad part is the membrane around it,” DiCaprio explained to Variety. “It’s like a balloon. When you bite into it, it bursts in your mouth.”

The movie is well done, but it is devastating. It is a movie so severe that it is nearly void of joy until I sat there in my movie theatre seat questioning the purpose of life. I began to contemplate my own death if the circumstances were the same. I wouldn’t want to live and yet Hugh Glass refused to die.
This film is about a man who refuses to die even after everything he loves and lives for is slaughtered. His wife, shot to death in front of his son. His son stabbed to death while he watches, unable. What kind of man cannot save his family? What kind of life could possibly follow that horror? The horror of failure. Hugh Glass was a man who could not save his family from other humans.

Revenge becomes the only honor. Now we understand why the world has unstoppable war. The future is bleak for all of us. How can there be joy? Where will the smiles go? There is no reason to smile.

and yet…

Joy cannot be stopped just as life continues because love allows us hope. The Revenant is not a feel good movie. It’s intense and poignant, much like a slap to the face from a lady wearing white gloves and red lipstick. Savage sophistication with nuances. The joy was not subtle. To me it was the most pivotal point in the whole movie. It was delicate, floating from the sky as fallen snow.

Two men of different color: one white, one brown, are sitting with curved backs near broken. The white man tells the brown man that his family was murdered and that his men left him for dead. The brown man says that his family was murdered too and then he says, “You can ride with me.” Friends. Two friends are sitting in open land with nothing but their lives and a revengeful purpose. They will kill to redeem love taken.

The snow falls like dandelion wishes, floating in to enchant the dire world. The brown man’s face opens, his mouth becomes a circle, like a whale swallowing krill. The snow floats on top of his tongue and he giggles. He giggles like a little boy. Glee, his laughter is the magic of herald angels singing until it’s Christmas with gifts received. The white man opens his mouth the same way, catching snow like tokens feeding a laughter machine. The two of them laugh and chuckle over the simple beauty of the snow. Those are the moments we live for when winter comes.

Winter comes to bring the snow which turns to joy when the world is frozen otherwise.




Written by Amber Garibay born in Nebraska, residing in Olympia, Washington. You can help support her writing and her business in the following ways:

  1. Book a photo shoot with A Smile Like Yours Photography. Check us out on Facebook HERE. Visit us online at:
  2. Amber is a Jamberry nails consultant. Please shop for your Jamberry HERE. Your choice matters and is appreciated. YES! Amber is available to help you host a Jamberry party so you can earn FREE jams!! ❤
  3. Amber is also a jewelry designer with #KEEPCOLLECTIVE. Shop for your wearable keepsake HERE. Would you like to help earning FREE jewelry? Host a KEEP social online or in person. Amber Garibay is your girl. #livehappy #charmedlife


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